A Runner's Heart

About a month or so ago, I visited a doctor that I've seen regularly for 15 years.  I'd say the guy knows me pretty well in terms of being his patient. 

He delivered all four of my kids. 

Anyway, last month he listened to me breathe and checked my heart and - in betwixt and between a myriad of things we discussed that day - he told me I had a heart murmur.

I guess most people would be sort of unsettled by that news.  Or maybe everyone. 

I was terrified.

After all ~ two of my children have heart conditions...7 open heart surgeries between them.  My father died from heart-related complications.  My brother lives with atrial fibrillation...

I honestly could go on, but I think you get the picture.  There is a long-standing family history of heart issues here.

I carried a heavy weight on my shoulders for a number of weeks.  For a while I'd been ignoring chest pains and heart flutters mostly while running but occasionally at rest.  In my defense, I'd taken 4 solid months off from any exercise, so to some extent, I could somewhat conscientiously chalk it up to getting back into shape (it's highly unfortunate how quickly one can actually get out of shape...).

Needless to say - I wasn't entirely surprised by this diagnosis.  But I was still very scared to hear the words.

I began imagining my kids without me. 

I stopped running.  Again.

I waited.  For doctors' visits, for test results, for relief from the bad news. 

I prayed.

Fortunately, good news came - relatively speaking - quickly.  The cardiologist listened to my heart.  He listened from this angle.  From that angle.  Back here.  Over there.  He sat down.

I braced myself.

"What you have is a runner's heart,"  he explained.  Through the course of several more tests, he determined that my heart is very strong, and when it beats, it pumps blood so forcefully across the valves that it causes a 'swooshing' noise that, to the untrained ear, can be construed as a murmur.  He will see me routinely based on family history to assure me that someone - with a trained ear - is listening for changes, but in the meantime, I am running again.

And since the weather is gorgeous ... at least for two days in a row ... I'm out there getting my run {back} on.

In fact, this past weekend, we traveled to Nashville for our annual Country Music Marathon (half marathon this year).  And I came away with a new personal record.  Considering I barely trained, I'm proud as a peacock at how well I did on those hills.  Only 4 minutes more to shave off and I'll be at my lifetime half-marathon goal.

Hooray!!!

... So, I guess I'll have to keep running ...



post-race:  PRs for both



 

Thanks to the ILs for photographing this year :)



More on 'cakes...



What a sweet family on Easter!

Seriously?  Yup.  I have more to say about cupcakes.

{Hey - I love 'em!}

But actually, I've just been doing a lot of thinking lately about blogging recipes.  During the Everyday Foods Challenge, I opted not to post the recipes we tried.  I sort of assumed, in a Young House Love sued by This Old House kind of way, that it would be taboo to Pete and repeat Martha's recipes when, after-all, she's just trying to make a buck and wants you to go out and buy her magazine.  Not check in with Karin to get the recipes for free.  At least, that was my thinking.  So I shared the success of our experience and left it at that.

Enter: Cupcakes.

I love love love cupcakes - and I love baking them.  I also love sharing recipes.  But is it OK to literally take a recipe from a cookbook and share it on the blog?  I actually did some research and found a great resource to this question.  I've seen David Lebovitz around the baking blogosphere and apparently he's the queen's jewels when it comes to baking and blogging, so his word is like the Bible.  Apparently. 

:)

Having said that, and having read his post on sharing recipes, I've a mind to do so.  Except that it's been done.  Literally, if you google any of the names of cupcakes I'll share with you during The Cupcake Challenge (it now has a name - so it must be official!), you will find a host of other bloggers who have actually done the same thing (and here I thought I was so clever).  That, of course, begs the question of whether or not Pete should repeat and whether I should blog about baking Martha 'cakes when so many others have done so before me.  I guess, then, that it goes back to Emily's comment about life :: as art.  And then the making of 'art'...

You believe it’s already been said, done, created, explored. That you have nothing new to say. Say it anyway. Be brave anyway. Throw out your inhibitions and spin around in this crazy world of recycled ideas. There is nothing new to say. Say it anyway.

So, I may or may not share recipes - do you want me to?  I may or may not photograph the steps along the way.  But I actually see cupcakes as my art.  It's morphed through the years from stamping to photography to cupcakes.  I'm a little weird.  I get that.  But, bear with me as I take photographing cupcakes to a whole new level of obsession I mean artistry.  {Or not.}  Regardless, I'll be saying it anyway!  After-all, "Food writer Laurie Colwin once said that if it wasn't for people sharing recipes, mankind would not have survived."  And I don't want to be responsible for the fall of mankind.  I just want to bake cupcakes.

Ode to the Cupcake

The cottage has been replete with the smells of baking recently.  I guess I wasn't kidding when I said I wanted to make every cupcake in Martha Stewart's Cupcake cookbook! 

I'm dividing my baking time between the splendid tastes of Martha and the decorating marvels of Hello, Cupcake (Hello).  This week, I even got to combine the two to create a whimsical butterfly garden of strawberry cupcakes for a dear friend whose daughter turned 5 today!  (Thanks, Christine, for my first real live order for cupcakes :) !!!)

So, without further adieu, enjoy the baking whims of   Me : : Part-time Baker Extra~ordinaire!  ...??



Don'chu toucha my centipede cupcake  (inspired by Hello, Cupcake!)

 

Salted Caramel Chocolate Mini Cupcakes = Y.U.M.!!!  Inspired by Martha's Cupcakes. 
I gave these away to Sashi's preschool.



Happy Birthday LucieLu!   Enjoy your strawberry cupcakes (Martha) and chocolate butterflies (Hello)!!!
The extras went to the teachers at the big kids' school.





My mom's cupcakes are the best!



I baked roasted banana cupcakes with honey-cinnamon buttercream frosting this week.  I think they may go to church...

Pennies for Problems

Sunday mornings you can always find us in one of two places. 

One is church. 
Amen.

But before church, we head out for breakfast.  Every weekend.  With math flash cards always in my bag.  Because my husband is all about not allowing our schools to be the sole educator of our children. 

I'll be honest with you.  It used to annoy me. 

Instead of having a nice conversation over breakfast out at a restaurant, he drills the kids on math facts.  Instead of talking or debating about - well, I don't know...gas prices or the stock market or how many icee mochas I've consumed this week...he flips cards in the kids' faces and leaves me sitting at the other end of our 6-person-two-round-tables-pushed-together seating arranged space in the restaurant ~ quietly observing.  And he pays them money.  A nickel for a card...sometimes just a penny.  He'll pay more or less for story problems (usually involving, "Mom goes to the Bread Co and orders an icee mocha that costs $5....)  The kids eat it up.  I've observed for most of the year now.  And I've grown to love it, too. 

Recently, we took Pookie's friend with us during our weekly trip because she had spent the night and was going to church with us after breakfast.  Hubby asked her to do math problems for pennies, and she agreed.  Only it wasn't very easy for her.  In fact, I could tell it was quite difficult.  And my heart broke.

The next day, I made arrangements with the principal and Pookie's teacher to come to school to drill kids on their multiplication facts.  I pay them a nickel for every card.  Real money that I keep for them in ziploc baggies with their names on the front.  After they earn a dollar, they trade me the cash for a toy from my bag of treasures (that I scored from the dollar store).  I take groups of 3-5 kids and they sit around me in a semi-circle and answer 3x4 and 6x8.  And they eat it up.  

I love the smiles on their faces and how the whole class (even Pookie) raises its hand in that "me!  me!  pick me!" way that kids rise up out of their chairs while leaning over their desks on their right arm, willing their left hand to be fat in front of your face so it's like they're still sort of sitting yet they are pleeeeeaading in that pleeeeeeeeeaase pick me way that kids do when they want to be picked.  To go do Pennies for Problems with Mrs. Karin.  Because learning is fun.  And pennies and nickels are insanely motivating.

It does make me sad.  That so many parents expect the schools to be the sole educator of their kids.  That I didn't see this as a need and volunteer earlier in the year.  That I didn't think I had time to tutor.  That the kids reeeeeeeeaally are struggling in some cases to do even 1x7...and the school year is almost over.  And that it doesn't seem like it's enough - to go in every day for 15 minutes each day.  And to stay late every day because they really, really do want to do it.  And I don't want to stop them.

Instead of being sad, though, I'm trying to figure out what to do from here.  I've realized that there is a need.  I'm also realizing that I can help.  Even when no one is asking.  Because odds are likely no one is going to ask.  But that doesn't mean they didn't need the help or that I couldn't be the one to offer it.  What about you?  Do you volunteer?  Do you feel like you should be doing something or even something more?  Maybe you have ideas for my Pennies for Problems dilemma?  I'd love to hear from you in the comments section below! 

<3
k

Everyday Grace

Today I made chocolate salted caramel mini cupcakes.  They are lovely.  A little salty, but I guess that's the point - beings that they're salted caramel and all.  (Originally, I was going to name this post: "I made caramel today."  Because I am just that proud of the fact that I actually made homemade caramel.  From sugar and water and syrup and cream.  Amen.  [I'll post pictures tomorrow].)

In the meantime, tonight I am directing you to The Nester for an incredible message she recently shared.  I watched the video and I have to tell you - by the end of it I truly felt that I was on holy ground.  "She don't know she's beautiful" amid life's everyday messes = God reminding each of us of His grace in the moment.  I, for one, regularly feel like I am failing at this job of stay-at-home motherhood.  That if I could just get my act together or my energy up or let them watch one more show I could clean my house.

Well.  Not today.  Today I made chocolate salted caramel mini cupcakes.  And now I just have to find someone to help me eat them...

80's Dance Par-TAY!

Friday night our school hosted an 80's Dance Party.  Whomever decided to focus on the 80's this year is genius (it's always been the 50's - a great decade in itself, but very low attendance dance-wise in recent years).  The turnout for the 80's was seriously record-breaking.  Kids were everywhere.  Literally.  Running from point A to point B (because that's how 1st through 5th graders ... 'dance?'), knocking down innocent by-standers, mutilating little people.  Better known as chaos.  But it was all good.  Actually, very good.

I may well never forget the moment I emerged from the bathroom with my hair in 80's glam.  {Big.}  My kids said, "Wow!" and "Mom, you look GREAT!"  It was one of my proudest moments.

Big hair went *POOF* by the end of a very busy night...but still tons of fun!

I scored a jackpot at Goodwill for Pookie's outfit - and she ended up winning Honorable Mention - amongst heavy competition, lemmejusttellyou!  Everyone was glammed up.  But she looked uh-mazing!  Her hair was HUGE!  Until she went to golf practice for an hour in the windy spring weather (Dad just wouldn't let her skip a lesson, beings that he's all about the golf.  And the bottom line).  When she arrived at the dance...her hair was no longer huge.  But she still won a Rubik's Cube for the effort, nonetheless  (which Daddy took apart tonite - just like we used to do in the 80's when the darn cube had us beat!  ... well, I actually just pulled off the stickers.  But he used to pull them apart and snap the colors back into the right places.  Still works like a charm)!

The dance was a huge success in terms of photography, too.  The PTO prez asked me a while ago to take party pics at the event.  We were able to make almost a 3-figure profit from my li'l camera, so I'm happy!  And if they ask me to do it again, I have a better idea of how to run the show.  (Always live and learn.)

More to come this week...

BUGS!

We spent the afternoon today at Spring Advancement for the boys.  Meiners finished his first year as a Cub Scout and MrT is moving up to Webelos. 

I've never been to advancement before - usually it has been cold or Sashi was too little.  I'm glad we were able to go today as a family and watch the kids play in forts and a babbling brook.  Pooks is lucky that two of her good friends have brothers her own brothers' ages - so even she skipped off to unearth 'sea snails' from the river, earth worms, and beetles.

Yesterday, to prepare our part of the meal to be served to all the Boy Scouts and their families at today's ceremony, we unearthed some of our very own bugs here at home.  In chocolate.  Cupcake form.

The three big kids helped along the bug path.  We decided chocolate bugs were a bit of hard work.  But they persevered and ate their fair share of creepy crawlies today.  Chocolate creepy crawlies that is.

Yum?