Home Sweet Home

I love our house.

We moved in over 11 years ago. It's not the same house. Every. room. has. been. changed. The outside, too. Fortunately, in my humble opinion, for the better.

It is small. I even like it for its smallness. A friend from my Bible study once said incredulously, "Your house is SMALL!" Why yes. Yes it is.

Lately, I have really been enjoying my bedroom. It is small, too. I like it that way, actually. I redid the room last spring. Ever since, we have not failed to keep it clean. I want to keep it clean. (...not that I want the rest of the house to be a giant moshpit of sloppiness. Quite the opposite. But I have become passionate about keeping the bedroom clean...) This weekend we moved a piece of furniture my father-in-law built for my daughter from a basement room into our bedroom. It made all the difference. I'm in love with my room. Again.

I find peace in the cool tones of the bedroom. I turn on the lamps every night, just so I can be consumed with the ambience as soon as I turn the corner. All the photographs are of us - it makes us feel a little more special. I haven't finished the wall of photos I planned. I did one in the girls' room of them. Maybe too many walls of photos is too much. But maybe it will come.

There are two more things I would like to do to this house. I want to install craftsman-style columns over the existing pillars on the front porch. And I want to redo our toy room. And I want to name her. (that was 3)

And I want to move. The house I prayed for last winter may become available again. My heart is set on it already. In a heavy way. Because I love this house. It is perfect. But the other house has loads of potential to love, as well.

It may not become ours. Once, when we first started 'looking' for a new house, I asked God to find it for me. Find me a house. He answered that He had found one. I'm still waiting to see what house He had in mind. As all the other houses we have briefly 'loved' have fallen out of our grasp, I have rested - assured that THIS house is the one He had found for us. So, I wonder as I remain content in this home that safely holds my growing family tonite (growing in size, age, and wisdom --- NOT in number...) I wonder - is this still the one? I'll have to wait a little longer.

One way or the other, I really do love this house.

"I wasn't ready!"

Remember when you were a kid playing Hungry, Hungry Hippo with your brother, and suddenly he started pounding on the black lever at the end of the hippo's bootie on his side of the board, and his green hippo scarfed up all the white marbles before you even started to push your lever down, and you totally lost the game, but you shouted: I wasn't ready! in whatever effort you could summon to avail the opportunity to start over?

Remember?

This morning I wanted a re-do. I wanted one more lazy day of summer lounging on the couch watching the same episode of Hannah Montana for the eighteenth time or packing the kids into the van for one more outing or sipping a lemonade by the pool while they laughed with their friends and fought over the water toys. I wouldn't even overreact to the fighting. I promise...just one more time.

One more minute.

Please?

I wasn't ready!
I'm not ready.

And yet, they were.
I guess that's how it's supposed to be.

The Review

We made a list at summer's onset. I asked each child: Name three things you want to do this summer.

The responses were varied and interesting...or at least similar - and fun!
Ferry Ride
Baseball Game
Chuck E Cheese.

The Arch
Zoo
Up!

G-Force
Chuck E Cheese
Baseball Game

Truly, the requests were simple. No one wished for Hawaii. Perhaps they just inherently understand such desires are unlikely to be fulfilled right now. But a ball game, we can do. And we did. The arch? Check. Movies? Even popcorn. Chuck E Cheese? Done. Zoo? Easy Peasy.

Tomorrow, we'll find a ferry. I don't know what spurred the 'ferry' comment - I wonder if he even remembers this early summer desire. But we'll fulfill the request. And as we float across the river, I'll reminisce about the summer where every kid participated in camps-a-plenty --- heart camp, scout camp, VBS, soccer camp...how we ran and swam and slurped up the summer in ice cream sundaes made 'their way' - with friends and family. I'll think back on Meiners' chilly birthday party, the bus stop kids' smores and sundaes bash (x2), the Princess Protection party, the Backyard Baseball party...I'll wonder if we used the pool enough, how we could watch so much tv, how many books we read and worksheets we didn't finish ... despite somewhat noble efforts. I'll ask myself how I could let it pass by so fast. How I could allow myself to miss one single moment. So precious and fleeting the time is. I'll cry over the reality of missing them. Knowing they'll come home every afternoon. With stories and homework and love for Mom. Cuz I'll always be 'Mom'...and to at least one growing little kindergartner, still "Mommy!"

And I'll promise to embrace the newest 'normal' for our family. With second graders and a new kindergartner, and even the baby growing into a little girl now, not so much a baby...I'll talk to myself about healthier eating, and childhood chores, and the revitalization of "The Organization Movement." Soon enough the leaves will change and boughs will be hung with full anticipation of yet more wonderment.

But for today, for even tonite, I stop. And remember. And smile. And love. And know.
I am blessed.

It is ~ A New School Year.

Having a Voice

I can say honestly that I don't pay a ton of attention to the news. I don't play the evening news on tv with the kids in the room. I don't even watch it on the late edition. But something tragic and overwhelming, really, happened nearby while we were on vacation last week, and it has just made me sick. A townhall meeting scheduled just down the street in our local junior high school broke out in violence over the current healthcare debate.

Here is a pic of my husband and me taken on our riverboat cruise last Friday night in Minneapolis.

I love this photo. It's a nice one of the two of us - just enjoying each other on a Mississippi Riverboat and a welcomed, albeit quick vacation together with our sweet family of 6. I sort of just want to post it. Yet, I think it also tells the story of who we are.

I guess you could say we're midwestern to the core. I was raised on a farm and a small college town in South Dakota and Missouri. As a teenager, we moved to 'the big city' --- Kansas City, to be exact. I am not radical. I am not even political. But I do care about what is happening in our country. And I would like to have my voice heard. I don't think that is really occurring in our country today. Perhaps those with differing views say they haven't had a voice before, so now they do. Does that mean it's OK to take mine away as you find yours? I am not an angry mob. I am not an organized protestor. I am an American with a voice.

Do you have one, too? Regardless of what you believe and how it aligns or differs with mine, write a letter to your representatives. Mine don't actually represent my views. But if enough of us write, it can make a difference. Don't sit idle and wait to see what happens in September. Hand write a note to your congressmen & women and your senators. If we don't, we have added nothing to the conversation.

Sometimes we face a fear

I've been gone. Literally - we actually took a family vacation! I wanted to post pictures and show you the fun we were having, but I also wanted to come home to all my stuff. You know, just in case...

To make a long story short, before Sashi's surgery, we planned a sort of mini-vacation to Minnesota, where my husband works about two weeks per month. After her surgery, I really struggled with whether or not to travel so soon. Our plan was to drive from StL to Minneapolis - about a nine hour trip by car - and spend a little less than a week touring the city while Daddy worked. I didn't want to regret not trying to go. There are a finite number of opportunities we have in this lifetime to enjoy each other in unfamiliar adventures. I wanted to go and enjoy a new city with my kids - and to see a side of my husband's life we only hear stories about. I finally settled on the idea that we would go, and if needed, we would find a hotel room and return home if Sashi seemed to be in too much pain from the lengthy traveling. I was nervous, but we forged ahead.

Let me just tell you, we enjoyed a wonderful week. Sashi did remarkably well - especially since we dragged the car ride to a lengthy 11 hours! (We stopped frequently and enjoyed sit down meals instead of our typical eat-on-the-run!) We enjoyed the apartment and the area where JT lives while he works in Minneapolis (and saw the most amazing tree house ever!). We loved the aquarium and Mall of America in its entirety (though it proved challenging to keep track of four kids on the run while flying solo on a Friday there in August - despite their matchy-matchy clothes a-la Jon&Kate+8 ~ pre-divorce). We spent time with my 'long lost cousin' and her family on a Minnesota beach - and brought home our own special version of beach shells! JT and I shared a beautiful (albeit chilly) riverboat cruise with his employees and coworkers. And we made it safely back home about 2:00 this morning.

Sometimes we fear the unknown. I'd say it's safe to say I always fear the unknown - and often even the known! It's a beautiful thing to face fear, see yourself through it (by the grace of God), and to look back on the loveliness with a smile and fond memories. That's what this week felt like: a beautiful thing.

A Friend's a Friend Forever

I only have a minute - but wanted to thank so many of you for your prayers and your well wishes as we went through the last week with Sashi. Her recovery far exceeded that of any of her doctors, and she came home on Sunday!

I want to use this venue as an opportunity to send a HUGE thank you to a few of my real life friends who helped us is such sweet and tangible ways. Specifically, Sweet Christy --- I tried to phone you this A.M. to say THANK YOU for the surprises on our porch last night!!! You should have seen the joy on the kids' faces when I told them they were having their FAVORITE pizza for dinner! And Pookie took one lick of the frosting on that moist, yummy cake and exclaimed, "It's my FAVORITE!!! Cinnamon!!!" She helped Sashi parade around with the balloons for at least an hour...or just until the pizza came, but nevertheless ;) Thank you for taking the time out to do such an extraordinary thing for us!

And Mama V - you know I love you! I nursed that coffee the whole day, if you can believe it! THANK YOU for thinking of me in such a personal way :)

Others, please know that I felt wrapped up in your friendship, truly. It was such an amazing feeling to see people from so many different walks of life - past, present, computer - all sending love and best wishes. I'm telling you, it kept me together. I bawled like a baby as Sashi and I drove away from the hospital on Sunday. But I was able to stay strong when I needed to because God has blessed me with each of you.

Yay God! (And Yay YOU!)

~Karin

Like a Box of Chocolates

I headed down to the cafeteria to buy something chocolatey tonite. Because everyone knows chocolate makes the best dinner. And I walked past two bowls of chocolate pudding sitting on the dinner tray by the door. Not quite what I pictured for my late night snack. I needed something ... more chocolatey. Laughing at the irony of chocolate not being chocolatey enough, I opened the door and proceded down the familiar hallway.

Funny how food - even chocolate - evokes specific memories. I remember when Pookie was in the hospital frequently, the cafeteria served the absolute best cake. Rich, moist, dark chocolate cake with a creamy chocolate frosting, the end of each piece blanketed in a thick coating of mini chocolate chip pieces that added just enough texture after refrigeration that thinking about it even today - 7 years later, my mouth waters.

Searching for such a delicacy, I headed downstairs tonite. No, pudding wouldn't cut it. I needed that cake.

*Sigh*

The cafeteria also used to serve the absolute best mandarin orange crispy fried chicken on salad greens with a honey mustard glaze and tiny almonds. Always on Thursdays. Every Thursday, folks from all over the Barnes-Jewish Children's complex converged on the lower level of Children's Hospital, standing in an endless line, waiting for that necessary drizzle of dressing before paying and sneaking off into the corner to share laughs and tasty lunchtimes with my co-workers. It wasn't chocolate. But it was almost as good.

Thursday I think I ate a cold spinach bacon souffle for my only meal - about 4 hours after purchasing it down the street at the Bread Co. They didn't have that just off campus all those years ago.

If they had, I may have started my coffee addiction years before I actually did. Back then, St. Louis Bread Co. sold German Chocolate danishes. Yes. Those were the product that single-handedly forced me into icee mocha submission. Flaky pastry on the outside. Pile of coconut-laced german chocolate frosting dolloped in the center with a light smattering of mini chocolate chips adorning the top. That yummy goodness paired with a large cup of frozen chocolatey caffeine goodness would send any common mortal into a sugar-induced hyperstate.

Not this connoisseur.

Know what I ate tonite? A hot fudge sundae. Just not quite enough chocolate. Yet, the only choice (save those two bowls of pudding sitting bedside up on the 10th floor...)

I wonder who ate the final piece of that cake. Who took it off the menu, thereby denying mere mortals the chance to experience such chocolatey heaven on earth?

I should write a letter.

In the meantime, I should also write one about the salad, the danish, and any other absolutely amazing food that I can no longer get my hands on!

... oh no! I just imagined what would happen if suddenly icee mochas went the way of the danish.
*GASP!*


I think I need another sundae.