Do you feel like there are times when you thought you were listening to God and you discover maybe you weren't? Like setting the table with your finest china and your freshly-polished silver, each water goblet filled with ice and sparkling in the afternoon sun, when suddenly He comes along and pulls Grandma's pretty tablecloth out from under it all? Thankfully, all the goods are still standing. Just the tablecloth is gone.
Maybe we were listening but we weren't hearing. He was forced to get our attention in a bigger way. (I need loud music and giant banners, God. I don't respond well to whispers in the din of my chaotic life. *wink*)
That's how I see our house experience. We were dotting every i and crossing every t and praying that He would be in the center of it all, making our path clear. I see Him sitting up there above the clouds and the universe looking down at us and shaking His head at us. They say man plans and God laughs. I don't think He's laughing. Because He knows our devastation. He knows our disappointment. But He also knows what is best. And I believe He is at the center of this - in a good, blessing sort of way. He's gotten our attention. Perhaps He kept us from making some sort of huge mistake.
Because we stay. It was more of a realization than a decision. That's the path we see that is clearly ahead of us. I thank God that sometimes He pulls the pretty linen out from under my dreams when uncertainty looms and I'm just not sure. I prayed for clear paths and for God to be at the helm. He's the baker. I am but the bread, still adding my own nuts and fruits. His table for us remains the same --- this house. It isn't a fancy table, the wood He's uncovered beneath the cloth is water stained, colored upon with Sharpies that bled through the children's artwork, crusty ketchup not quite cleaned up from lunch...but it is good enough. We are fine here. We are happy...
Oh, and our 90 year-old neighbors and their 60 year-old live-in daughter burst into clapping and cheering when I told them we were staying. How cute is that?
We can always build UP. At least, after we consult the structural engineer and hire an architect or two...
