And the Big Box Goes to...

Pookie chases after a big box o' chocolates last Easter, 2010

Do you like Big Box stores?  You know - the ones that entice you with all the yummy samples and good deals when all you went in to get was their tasty organic salsa jumbo-sized and you walk out with 1/6th of your two week envelope budget floating in the wind.  So to speak.  I mean, I'm stocked good and plenty on all things red - Salsa.  Spaghetti sauce.  Ketchup.  But man-oh does it ever bother me that I'm left with only 4/5ths of my budget already.  (OK 3/5ths cuz we also stopped by Target and bought - necessities only - things we need.  Seriously ~ the 9 year-old needs socks that go past the arch of his foot - those belong on the 6 year-old foot by now.)  And it's the first day of this envelope.  Good gravy.  It's a good thing I can get creative in the kitchen.  Oh wait.  I can't.  *sigh*

Seriously, I am on a kick people.  This week I began reading Radical by David Platt.  Yeah, yeah, I know -If you know me in real life then you may be feeling like I'm a broken record.  But there is so much excess in this world.  I still have a giant storage locker full of stuff we don't even need after 6 months ... well, about 1-2 times per week the kids will ask for something and I'll start, 'Sorry guys.  I think it's in...' and they don't even need me to finish before they lament with a big giant chip on their under-excessified selves, "it's in storage  *big sigh, heave shoulders, the whole bit.* "

I love June from Bye Bye Pie (originally Bye Bye Buy - which I adore.  Sugar I won't denounce quite yet.  But she is crass and funny and real.  And usually I laugh outloud when I read her posts).  For an entire year, she and her husband did not buy more than what they needed.  Last night, Hubby and I decided to start contemplating whether there was anything we purchased that day that wasn't necessary.  I can't promise that I can go an entire year, but it certainly puts spending into perspective when you think, "Do I need this or want this?"  And "How wisely did I spend my money today?"  Ouch.

Now, tying all this together, I go back to the big box stores.  I can see the benefit of stocking up.  But man-oh it hurts to shell out the cash up front.  I almost wonder if it would be better for me to go buy a smaller bottle of ketchup (oh yes - it is an essential, believe me) for $3 than 3 ginormous ones fo $10.  What do you think?  Do you big box or not?

The Black, White and Gray In Between

I heard music coming from my purse.  I stopped in the aisle at Walmart and fumbled around inside my bag.  Flipping open the case after seeing the school number on caller I.D., I said, "Hello?" half expecting the nurse.

A male voice replied, "Mrs. Jackson?"  He unnecessarily identified himself as the school principal.  I recognized his voice.  After I acknowledge it was me, he continued, "Mrs. Jackson, do have a minute?  I have Meiners here in the office with me."

Mr. D continued to describe in a serious tone what had occurred that morning on the school playground.  "...kickball...argument over outs...Meiners punched a boy...first offense for a first grader...he spent his lunch with me...do you want to talk to him..."

Meiners came on the phone.  He cried uncontrollably into my ear.  None of his answers were intelligible.  "Meiners, did you hit someone on the playground?  Why'd you do it?  It's not OK.  We'll talk about this tonite.  Let Mr. D have the phone."

After the storm had passed, I talked more with Meiners about what had happened on the playground.  What took place involved Meiner's oldest and dearest friend.  I call him Meiners' True North.  For Meiners, TN is home.  Does that make any sense?  Comfortable.  Predictable.  Loyal.  Safe.  He's the one who is always there.  Is always going to be there.  Home.  Everyone needs a friendship like Meiners and TN's.

This day, TN decided to play kickball with Meiners.  And he kicked the ball.  Then ran to first base.  But another boy declared him out.  Meiners - for whatever reason - argued TN was safe.  Was it because he was safe?  Because he didn't want TN - who usually doesn't play kickball - to give up and quit playing?  Because he wanted to defend his best friend?  It doesn't matter.  Meiners said he was safe.  But the other boy insisted the other way.  And put his hands over his ears.  And yelled, "Nah nah huh boo boo."  At least in Meiners' version.  And Meiners responded, "I am now forced to talk with my hands!" 

*ker-pow*

Friday I took my boys to the pediatrician for their well visit.  She looked into Meiners' ears and whistled.  "He's got fluid in his ear.  Oooooh and an infection in this one."  We discussed the dark circles under his eyes.  How signficantly badly he had performed on his hearing test in her office.  She said, "Allergies like this can lead to a serious lack of sleep, outbursts, and easy frustration."

I took a step back.  Not to excuse the behavior - or the very nature of his loyalty and competiveness and the spirited person we have always known him to be.  And the job we have even now to teach him to make good choices and to exhibit self-control as appropriate.  But also to give him a chance.  And a seat closer to the teacher.  And maybe some allergy meds.

I love you Meiners.

Buried

I think I'm just buried in Life right now - and have lots to say and no ability to say it --- if you're a blogger or a writer, in fact, I know you know what I am talking about.  I am going to start carrying a notebook with me to record my ideas.  Because Ideas I have, but follow-through I lack.

I would appreciate any and all prayers for Pookie.  She is going into week 7 of unhealthy lung issues.  She attended two full days of school this week (maybe up to a total of 10 for the year so far, and that's being generous) - and experienced one unfortunate playground incident where a dear friend left her in the lurches.  Tough for Mama Bear to keep her wits.  I love my girl.

And as you can see, Li'l Bit has been having some difficulty breathing, too.  Fortunately, she looks up to Big Sis and puts up with the motoring meds spewing into her face.  At least in the daylight.  She's a bear cub overnight.  But we've made it.

Thanks for checking in.  And I promise, sooner than later I'll be back with pithy stories and a splatter of recipes to boot.   Love you all!
~k

For You

My friend called today.  She asked me the deep, dark questions.  I spoke honestly.  I explained that I question.  Even when no one around me seems to be questioning.  I admitted I pray often for Faith - even the size of a mustard seed.  I told her that I resent how not everyone seems to be afflicted equally.  But I remembered this video.  And because I don't have your email, I am putting it here.  Because I know you read.  And I love you for your brave honesty.  For your heart and how you love your kids.  Even the tough ones.  Thank you for allowing me to share my heart.  Even though it's broken and complex.  And sinfully human, too.  May you find Peace - and maybe even a little of what you are looking for, here.

God Bless.
Karin

on enhancements

Oh you know I'm laughing about that title...I'm so double entendre.

A number of weeks ago, our wish granter called to tell me about an enhancement activity she put together for Pookster and the rest of us.  This is an activity/something special Make A Wish tacks on to an otherwise already wholly wonderful once in a lifetime opportunity that, well, completely adds to ~ or enhances ~ the original wish.  It involved a behind-the-scenes look into our personal favorite show of all time: 

 The PNC Bank Sea Lion Show

at the world famous St. Louis Zoo!!!

(I'm not kidding - we love that show!  T could be heard throughout our tour, "You say that in the show."  "I've heard that in the show."  Yes, we go every time we visit the zoo in the summer!  And this time - WE were on the stage!)  That's right - today we would have been home from Hawaii with just one more wee li'l day off from school to go behind-the-scenes with the sea lions.  An activity I've tried to sign Pookie up for for two years in a row - and they always get booked up before she gets in.  You might remember this story  and here when Meiners was picked from the audience.  Solidified Pooks' desire to be the star.  And today was her day.  Despite a change of plans for Hawaii, we agreed we couldn't miss this opportunity. 

Pookie enjoyed the absolute time of her life.  And so did I.  I may have mentioned previously that in high school I wanted to be a doctor.  But in college, I wanted to be a marine biologist.  When I couldn't cut Chem120 and Calculus, I settled on becoming a speech pathologist.  My senior year, however, I managed to win a coveted scholarship within my department by writing an essay describing my desire to incorporate my two loves - biology and talking - in hopes of one day studying and exploring the benefits of using marine life to facilitate communication in children with limited expressive skills.  Yeah.  I was pretty idealistic.  Especially since I applied to grad school and attended in the midwest.  Where there were no dolphins.  (Is there any question that Pookie is a Mini-Me when her favorite animal is ... the dolphin??)

Today she received the royal treatment.  She walked through the aquatic offices, watched Benny take a bath, explored the show stage, and participated in her own private PNC Bank Sea Lion Show!  And then the rest of us did, too!  (Minus daddy - 5 people was the limit.)  Pookie recieved a sea lion stuffed animal (OMG - can you say HEAVEN??) and everyone else got frisbees.  We all brought home zoo hats, some zoo cups, and a whole lot of exhaustion.  Plus, memories of an absolute lifetime.

Thanks CJ, Make A Wish, and the St. Louis Zoo for giving me this:

Just think.

 

This morning...

• I made three extra trips to bring a backpack, a library book, and medicine to school.  And to think, I could have been in Hawaii.
• I spent 3 hours shopping at Walmart with a 3 year-old.  And to think, I could have been in Hawaii.
• I answered three calls from the school nurse.  And to think, I could have been in Hawaii.
• I fielded a phone call from the principal over a playground scuffle.  And to think, I could have been in Hawaii.
• I came home to find the dog chewing trash on the floor.  And to think, I could have been in Hawaii.

 

new card line I found at WalMart called 'Connections from Hallmark ~ Saturdays' --- HUHlarious.

 

This afternoon...

• I ran up and down 2 miles of steep hills while pushing 50 pounds.  And to think, I could have been in Hawaii.
• I scheduled a mammogram to diagnose a lump.  And to think, I could have been in Hawaii.
• I said, "Don't break your arm," as she fell from the swing and probably broke it.  And to think, I could have been in Hawaii.
• she fell and scuffed her nose and her knee while leaving the park.  And to think, I could ahve been in Hawaii.
• a gray hair nearly hit us while passing through an intersection in rush hour - and HE gave ME the finger.  And to think;  I COULD HAVE BEEN IN HAWAII!

Today I am grateful...

• to live close to a school with a wonderful nurse and a compassionate principal.
• to have time and money to shop for the things my family needs.
• to have a vacuum.
• to be capable of running while my toddler naps.
• for my health and our insurance.  
• for their health and our insurance.
• for the horn on my van and restraint on my lips.
• that we are rescheduled to make our trip to Hawaii!

Praise God!

 

More Than Enough

For those who are checking - thank you.  Pookie is making a slow but steady recovery.  She attended half a day of school and is hoping to stay the entire day tomorrow.  Thank you for asking and for caring for us.

Fashionista Summer '09  (she does not come by this naturally)

I don't shop.  Well, I mean I totally shop - for groceries, for new blogs, for books on photography, but I...ya know...don't shop.  Maybe it's because I have four kids and more times than not I spend my time 'shopping' actually cajoling a child out of the clothes rack or to stop beat-dancing in the cart before it topples.  Anyway, I don't end up buying a lot for myself.  Except icee mochas.  But that doesn't count, either.

Recently, I found a store.  I love this store.  Like love it love it.  I could buy everything there.  And the prices aren't ridiculous.  And I want more stuff.  From this store.  But my envelope is empty.  Or at least, there's only enough money in there to buy groceries.  And really not even for that.  Cuz there were just a few too many comfort-trips to the Bread Co for mac-n-cheese and salad last week (there's a Bread Co just a block from the hospital...and a mile from my house.  But whatever.)

So this morning, I want fancy clothes and fancy food (made by someone else), but instead I sat down to write my online Bible study message to my online Bible study girls.  Here's what I wrote:

My Bible verse is "It is better to be patient than powerful; it is better to have self-control than to conquer a city." (Proverbs 16:32 NLT)


I'm lacking self control in the spending and in the speaking categories of my life lately. I don't buy things for myself very often, and have recently stumbled upon a store that actually fits my style to a T ... problem being that now I want to return and buy that other thing(s) and the math doesn't add up this envelope. Boo.

"We work to feed our appetites; Meanwhile our souls go hungry." (Ecclesiastes 6:7, The Message)

I pray that saying no to myself I will be reminded that "The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for Him." (Lamentations 3:24).

And tomorrow I'll deal with controlling my tongue. 

I'm writing this here so that I don't forget.  I don't forget that I cleaned out my fridge today and don't have anything to feed the family, and yet there is food enough for every meal.  I folded 6 loads of laundry and yet I apparently need more.   ...  ??

God has provided me my portion.  Indeed, more than enough.  For that, I am grateful.