Wednesday, September 10, 2008

The Evolution of an Addiction

I remember my days as a speech pathologist of home health and hospital work (before kids). I packed my lunch or ran through a McDonald's drive-thru between clients. Once in, as they say, a blue moon, I ran into a Bread Co., but those times were too infrequent even to remember this many years later.

Yet, at one time, there had to have been a first time.

Back then, my drink of choice was Coke. Even as a child, my mom encouraged me to 'drink only one' per day. I started that habit in high school --- Dr. Pepper started it all, actually. With a KitKat bar from the student store during 3rd period IB Spanish. Maestra ('Teacher') repeatedly admonished the teenage girls in her class that this was a bad habit to start and soon enough (you know, in our 30's or something) our metabolism would slow and these daily trips to binge at the snack shop would return to haunt our then-shapely figures.

Then in college I turned to CocaCola. And a bag of peanut butter M&Ms. Every day. I'd walk down the 3 flights of stairs to the vending machines - that had to account for something, Maestra!

And, post-grad school, on my drive into work in my sporty Chevy Cavalier, I twisted the lid off the new 20-ounce bottles of Coke. And since I only allowed myself one per day, I nursed it slowly through lunch (warm, unfizzy, by noon).

As we prepared to build our family, I gave up caffeine. I transitioned (kicking and screaming, except for the end result of ... babies!) to Root Beer. But once the twins came and sleep deprivation set in, the sweet taste of Coke returned to my morning routine. And I remember discovering General Foods International's iced coffee. As I watched my kids' therapists traipse in and out of the house each morning, I'd consume a homemade iced coffee. And as they came and went each afternoon, I'd nurse a soda again. (Mom always said 'one Coke' - she said nothing about coffee and CocaCola every day!)

And soon enough, the twins became mobile - at least enough for me to tote both of them into the Bread Co. in their carseats. We started going as a diversion. A chance to get out amongst 'the people' without exposing Pookie to too many germs that first year with our fears of RSV and surgeries and growth.

That's truly how it all started.
And now, 7 years later, my kids groan when I tell 'em we're headed to Bread Co. I can't even bribe them with 'snacks' from the list of carbohydrate choices any more! And. I'm addicted to Icee Mochas. In a bad way. (I gave up Coke while pregnant with Meiners - those sweet, syrupie puppies make me sick with their sugar content even to this day! ...odd, considering the sugar content of an Icee Mocha, I know)

Recently, a few of my best bloggy friends have admitted to blog addictions. I conceed that it can be addictive. But, my friend Melissa felt called by God this week to give up her addiction. And she has bid us farewell in her blog today. I have heard of this notion before. This concept of giving up an addiction. All summer, Pastor John taught us from Proverbs. And you don't think Proverbs speaks of turning from our bad choices and running towards purity? Yes. I do believe caffeine is an impurity. And, from a girl who has slowly transitioned to the realization that she has become a runner - in the true sense of the word, caffeine addiction is not a healthy life style. It is a drug. And, although I believe it to have been vital in delivering me to the kitchen many a morning after a sleepless night, I also believe there are only so many times you can turn from the voice of God, telling Him to go wake Someone Else up with His gentle nudging.

Now, before you all get in an uproar, I don't give one hootie whether you love coffee or slurp your Icee Cokes from the Tarjay foodcourt. God will speak to you about the things in your life that are your weakness. I guarantee that. This one's about me and the choices I make.

So, for today, I kneel at the feet of my God. What have You got in store for us, Lord? I'm sweating. Just so you know. I'm scared. But, I can see how You've been whispering. Prodding. And I'm game.

I don't look forward to the headaches. I don't anticipate with any sense of fun the prospect of 13.1 on Sunday early morning (probably in Hurricane Ike's rain!!!). But, Lord, I do look forward to Your Miracles. And I pray that You would be a light unto my path.

Good Night.
Pray for me.
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