Saturday, October 25, 2008

The Privilege of Brokenness

I've mentioned The Church Lady a few days in a row now. She has long been my spiritual mentor. I miss my days of going to the pregnancy center for her classes - I mean as a 'counselor.' So often, God spoke to me while I was there. I pray He also spoke to The Girls. But I know He meant for me to be there, too.

Yesterday we met with the cardiologist for Pookie and Meiners' check-up. The news was good. I accept the cardiologist's good news always with a bit of hesitation. Just always waiting for the next shoe to drop. It has so many times. Not recently. Not, in fact, for 4 years. Praise God.

I fell asleep early last night while snuggling with Meiners. So since Baby S's standard 4:30AM wake up call this morning, I have not been able to return to slumber after settling her back in with a clean diaper, a found binky, and a little one-on-one time with Mama. My mind has been wandering while I lay awake. And I recall moments of leaning and learning. I thought I would share some of those here.

If you've never seen Rob Bell in action, I recommend him. One night at the pregnancy center, we watched his video Rain. In it, he describes a time when he went walking in the woods with his infant son strapped in a pack on his back. When they started the trip, the sun was shining and the day was warm. As they walked further and further along the trail, storm clouds moved in. And eventually rain started pouring down upon them. He pulled his son's hood up over his head and started walking quickly back to their cabin. At first, his son whimpered. Soon, he was crying with every inch of his tiny frame. Rob kept telling him, "It's OK, Little Buddy. Daddy's here. We're gonna be OK. I love you. It's OK, Little Buddy. Daddy's here. We're gonna make it." Rob jokes in the video that one day his son will need therapy over this event. He may come to his dad and say, "Dad, why did you make me go through that?" He hopes that his son will see. Rob shares that this was a moment when he felt bonded to his son like no other time. This was an experience they shared together, and he led his son through the storm. Rob concludes the video reminding us that as earthly parents, we love our children with all of our being. How much more, then, does our Heavenly Father love us? How much more is He whispering, "It's OK, Karin. Your Father is here. We're gonna be OK. It's OK, Dear One. Daddy's here. We're gonna make it." And in the end, we are bonded together by a storm where I had the privilege of sharing the journey with my Heavenly Father.
Here, watch...

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