Saturday, January 31, 2009


There have been times in my life when I honestly felt like the world should stop.

Stop, World. Look. Look at what has happened.
How can you not stop? You. You, right there. Why aren't you stopping?

How can you not stop, World?

My questions turn from those passing by me obliviously in a blur to the One who makes the world go. And I say, Stop, Lord! Look! Look at what has happened! Why don't you stop the world, Lord? Why, Lord?


There is grief here. And it can't go on. Stop the world, Lord.
Tell them what happened today. Tell them how bad it is!

I struggle to place one foot in front of the other. I watch as everyone around me walks without effort. I watch for recognition from them. I watch to see that they know. If they know.

Don't you know? How can you not know? The world has stopped! It has to stop. There is nothing beyond this grief. How can there be anything beyond this grief. Beyond this.

I hear a baby crying. I watch her daddy bouce her gently.
They don't know. How could they not know?

Thank you, God, that they do not know.

But why must I know? Why, Father? Why must I hurt so badly, and they rejoice? Did I do something, Lord? Did we do something to have to endure this pain? This was not my baby. Why, Lord? What makes you take this one and leave the rest of us?

I don't understand, Lord. I just don't understand. And I'm tired, Lord. I'm tired of toiling in vain. I want to understand. I want to see clearly. I want it to mean something.

I just want it to mean something.
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